Should I stay married to an unfaithful man who is confused about his marriage?

I am 40 yrs old, married and we have 2 children. My husband has and possibly still is cheating on me. He recently announced that he doesn't want to be married, because I seen her cell # on his phone again. He hasn't moved out and doesn't want me or the children to move out? I love my husband, family and our marriage. I am willing to work things out, learn to forgive and trust, but he doesn't know what he wants anymore. I am heart broken and confused.Should I stay married to an unfaithful man who is confused about his marriage?
Sorry to hear about this. How sad! Maybe this article can help you.





';Can you recover after cheating?





Cheating strikes at the very foundation of a relationship: trust, vulnerability, and attraction all hang in the balance after a partner has stepped outside the relationship.





However, infidelity doesn't necessarily spell the end of a relationship. It's not easy (in fact, it's grueling), but there is love to be found again after cheating. Couples who survive cheating tend to use the experience proactively, once they've gotten through the anger and deep emotions. Cheating is a breach of trust that should never happen, but some couples find a silver lining of renewed commitment and vitality in their relationship moving forward.





For couples who aren't ready to give up, both partners must rise to the challenge. The unfaithful partner must become 100% accountable, for past actions as well as moving forward. There should be a period of full disclosure. The rage and pain of the betrayed partner must be accepted. A new system of trust building means the unfaithful partner accounts for all of his or her time tangibly -- spending time with people the betrayed spouse considers safe and checking in frequently, with regular phone calls and the like.





For the betrayed, the challenge is to express the very natural feelings of anger, but eventually put a limit on it. Incessant anger and bitterness are not going to allow you to move forward. I suggest daily venting sessions of 10 minutes. Seeking the guidance of a therapist will help manage this process in way that's appropriate for each couple. Also, beware getting into the victim role. Though it's no one else's fault that a person cheated, there is a dynamic in the relationship that went wrong -- not just in the adulterer. Fundamental emotional needs were not being met.





Ultimately, there are plenty of examples of couples who don't make it past cheating.





The relationship is simply too worn and tattered -- the trust and the love have run out.





Or the person who committed adultery has a pattern of behavior that he or she is unwilling to change.





So can you repair after an affair? With forgiveness, accountability, and a lot of heart from both partners, you certainly can. However, I won't lie and say it's easy. Many couples simply don't move on from infidelity.


And the bottom line is...Everybody is different. What one person can forgive, another cannot. ';


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Please consider your options and do what is best for you.


I truly don't believe God wants us to be in terribly stressful and unhealthy relationships...and unfortunately, cheaters, liars and abusive men seldom change.





Go to church and seek help...Go to therapy or counseling alone as well. Sometimes it's better to be alone than to be in a loveless marriage. Good luck.








Should I stay married to an unfaithful man who is confused about his marriage?
You shouldn't be heartbroken and confused. Why are you letting yourself be in the shadow of his decisions? You should be feeling anger and resentment! He disrespected and hurt you in a major way...This isn't something he's going to quit doing, because obviously he feels no regret or guilt. He's been very forthcoming with what he's done, which means he doesn't care about your feelings one way or the other.





The only reason he'd want you to stay is maybe because of the children. Plus, if you stay, he doesn't have to pay child support or spousal support...And he can continue what he's doing with other women. See? He's getting what he wants either way. He can outwardly do what he wants, and not have to pay for it...All the while, you sit, cry, and choose to love a man who doesn't mind hurting you.





You're letting yourself be abused emotionally. Strengthen yourself and leave this unhealthy situation! You can be so much happier on your own...and you might even find love again. You still have a chance to be happy. He's obviously happy with what he's doing...So why shouldn't you be? Find passion and life again...Be a good example for your children.
If he really cares about you and the marriage he would have ended things with this woman. If it was a one time accident and he was deeply sorry I could see you forgiving him and taking him back but the fact that he is having this ongoing affair is totally wrong , he has no respect for you. If you are staying for the kids it really isnt in their best interest. Believe it or not children know whats going on this can scar them. What is the point of staying married to somebody who is having an affair with someone else? End it before this relationship tears up all your heart, esteem and soul and distort your son and daughter's mind on how a real man, father, or husband should act. There are better men out there. Be strong and let him know ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
Can you live with the fact that he's an unfaithful man who is confused about his marriage? So the question is not necessarily if you should but more if you can live with the facts that you already know...





See I'm still going through my divorce and one of the things that I've read and heard that is more true is:





';If a man shows you who he really is, believe him because trying to change him is only going to bring you more disappointment';.





So it's about what you want for yourself... if he is who he is and that's enough for you, then settle for whatever he has to offer you... if not, and you know that you deserve much better... you know how this ends, don't you?
I understand ur situation. Right now, i think your husband actually loves two women. If he is only cheating on you with one lady at a time that is.





Sense he loves two women, he can convince himself to go either way right now. Either with you, or the other lady. If you act like you dont need him, then chances are he will go to the place where he feels he is needed. MEN NEED TO KNOW THEY ARE NEEDED. This does not mean act needy. But this does mean you need to create situations around the house where he will feel impressed to take action. Do not at all dishonor his manhood, but do ur best to let him know that his actions are killing this relationship. Think of marriage in terms of a peace agreement between to warring countries: If one is breaking the covenant then there can be no peace, and one side will lose. Talk this over with him, infact, let him read this because I understand his situation.





Oh, the key to him not doing this again is keeping his big mouth shut. So buy a book about it, and God bless!
You know, he doesn't deserve you.


Your husband is not a man of integrity and doesn't deserve a woman who would stick w/ him even though he is a bad person.


Your children don't deserve to go through this.


If my father cheated on my mother i would never look at him the same way again. I wouldn't live with him. I wouldn't talk to him unless i had to.


Drop him before things get worse, or before it affects the children worse than it already has
Only you can decide what is right for you. If he has cheated, then it's only a mater of time before he cheats again. The trust will never be the same, because a part of you will always wonder. If you're willing to put up with being used, then stay married. Financially you will be better off.
I'm sorry to hear this Liza. I think you need to get out. Men don't change their cheating ways, you're only 40, you have time to find another, better man.





My mom waited it out for the sake of the kids, then he left her when she was 64 anyway. Now she feels completely lost, it's better to get out earlier than later.
Women like you deep down are bitter and unhappy letting people take a walk all over your good nature. You are only hurting you by staying with this loser. And you kindhearted women still keep crankin' out kids to cement fix the mess. Look into some self help about taking a stand in your life. I hope that this inspires you..........
say goodbye, it will b the hardest thing u ever have to do, but you have to do it. the children will eventually understand that it wouldnt b a happy environment anywayz. r u a coward? becuz the only reason ud b staying with him is becuz ur scared of change. dont be , things happen for a reason.
Why forgive? He cares NOTHING about you. He DOES NOT love you. If he did, he would have NEVER EVER cheated. You deserve better. Leave him and file for divorce. You shouldn't have to put up for that BS.
No you shouldn't you will only be hurting yourself and your children.





Your children do not need to see their mother being used.





Tell him to move out
HELL NO
I need to answer this one. I'm sorry for all the biased answers you've gotten.





My husband cheated on me earlier this year and what you said in your question was my life. He was confused and I was willing to work things out. Affairs are a fantasy world and they are afraid to leave that because they are worried that things in your marriage won't get better. This committment to work things out has to happen on both sides. He needs to completely discontinue anything with this woman and commit to you! No emails, txts, calls, if its a co worker...he needs to quite (my husband had to). The two of you need to seek counseling, read books, attend marriage conferences, talk to pastors, elder couples...anything and everything you can do to save this marriage. It takes a lot of pain and heartache but it can be done. My husband and I have a better marriage now than we ever did BUT it takes both of you. Give him a little space and tell him about what I told you and see what he agrees to. Affairs are unreal and he needs to realize that, now before its too late. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and I can give you what I know. Good luck, work on yourself and hopefully things will work out.